Twelve years
ago today…
On New Year’s
Day in 2002 my life was in turmoil. I was physically exhausted. I was
emotionally drained. I was spiritually confused. I was mentally alone. You see
a few hours after midnight my first son Joshua was born. Now I know what you
are thinking, “Oh, Skipper you are exaggerating. I’ve had kids and I know it
can be rough but I am sure it was not as bad as you let on.” Well I respect
your opinion but the reality is that most of you, the vast majority of you, do
not know MY story. To most of you I am the
guy who plays with the kids upstairs at church. I am the guy who smiles and says hello on Sunday mornings but you have
no idea who I am or anything at all about my life’s story. So, if you choose to
read on then I would like to share this part of MY story with you.
Twelve years
ago today…
On New Year’s Day in 2002 my life was in turmoil. I was
physically exhausted. I was emotionally drained. I was spiritually confused. I
was mentally alone. You see a few hours after midnight my first son Joshua was
born. The 31st had been a long day. Tricia and I had been helping a
friend pack up to move. Tricia was tired. She was nine months pregnant with our
first child and over due. We went home and she went to lie down. I sat in the
living room to veg and watch TV. All of a sudden I hear my name from the bedroom.
It is Tricia and she says her water had broken. I, being a silly male, asked,
“Are you kidding?” She was not. We quickly get in the car and race to the
hospital.
Fast-forward many hours. It is now late into the evening
on the 31st. Tricia is uncomfortable and doing her best to follow
all the instructions given to her by the doctors and nurses. We have a few
close friends in the waiting room. These friends hold a special place in our hearts
to this very day. They had come up to the hospital, expecting as we did, to
have the baby at any moment. As the evening moseyed along the doctors and
nurses began to make wagers. You see it was between us and another couple- one
of the two babies would be the first born of 2002. It was a fun time and an
exciting time. We all watched the New Years Eve show on TV. Nurses would
occasionally pop in and watch TV and check on Tricia. She became more dilated
but also more intense in her pain. We knew Josh was a big baby but we did not
expect there to be any complications. Midnight came and went. All celebrated. I
gave my beautiful wife a new year kiss to welcome in the New Year. The lady
down the hall had her baby. It was a girl-she would be the first baby born in
Clay County for 2002. All seemed to be good except that Tricia’s feet began to swell
a lot, real puffy like, more than they had during the entire pregnancy.
It was still dark outside, early in wee hours of the
morning that the doctors began to check on us more often. They would check on
Tricia, her vitals and all that medical stuff they do to women trying to have a
baby. We were tired. Tricia was not feeling well, more swelling- feet, fingers
and face. Tricia had tried “pushing” and all the other stuff they would tell
her to do. The water had broken so many hours earlier. There appeared to be
some complications. When Tricia would have a contraction all the nurses and
docs would look at the screen. I knew there was something wrong. The doctor
told us that they believed it was in the best interest of Tricia and the baby
to perform a cesarean section. I went out to the lobby to inform our dear,
precious friends who had stayed all night that we were preparing for an emergency
C-section. Tricia was scared but she was also kind of out of it, she was not
her normal self.
When I returned from the lobby they had taken Tricia and
were getting her ready. The nurses began giving me instructions. I remember
this as if I were watching myself in a movie. I sat alone in the wee hours of
the morning in a black office chair on wheels, the kind that spins and goes up
and down. I was dressed in blue scrub stuff from head to toe. Alone, in a
hallway on that black chair, I swiveled, bounced, I even spun completely around
just trying to stay focused. My wife and baby were in another room. My support
group was in another room. I was all-alone.
Fast-forward another hour or so. Joshua had been born weighing
in at 9 pounds and 10 ounces. If you have ever seen my wife you will know why
they had to cut Josh out. There is no way that big guy was coming out of her
small frame. Tricia was exhausted. She could barley stay awake. They took Josh
to go and check him out. They began to focus on Tricia. Over the next few hours
she would swell up from head to toe. I tease her now and say she looked liked a
very, very over weight oriental woman because she was puffy from head to toe
and her beautiful blue eyes could barely be seen. Her eyes were squinted almost
shut and she could not completely close her hands due to the swelling. They
tried to get her to feed Joshua but she could not. Something was wrong. This
was beyond post baby stuff. Tricia had developed HELLP syndrome.
HELLP syndrome is a life-treatning pregnancy
complication. HELLP stands for: H (hemolysis, which is the breaking down of
red blood cells),
EL (elevated liver enzymes) and
LP (low
platelet count). The morbidity and mortality rates associated with the syndrome
have been reported to be as high as 25% (1 in 4 of who get a severe case die).
There are three stages of HELLP (mild, moderate and sever). Tricia was severe!
The nurses cared for Joshua. I tried to care
for Tricia. Church members came by to see us. All I could do at the time was
say “she is resting.” You see this was in the days before social media. There
were no smart phones. No FaceBook or Twitter. The dear friends in the waiting
room had gone home. We all thought, “the baby was born, Tricia is tired and all
will be ok.” I was running on fumes of fumes. The nurse brought me Gatorade and
Gingerale. Tricia would go in and out of sleep. The baby would come in and out
of the room. Fast-forward again, finally, they decided to give Tricia a blood
transfusion. Three bags of blood later, many hours, a nap here and there, and Tricia
came around. By the next day Tricia was responding. She was returning to
herself. She wanted to hold the baby.
The past hours were a blur to her. Tricia,
Joshua and I all could now begin a normal time of bonding. It would be a total
of three days before they would allow Tricia to come home from the hospital.
Today as I reflect back on those rough hours (36+)
I realize one main thing- God has each of us here for a purpose and we must
share our stories so others may grow closer to the True giver of Life. That
day, that first day of 2002, I was faced with a precious new life and the
horrifying possibility of a death all at the same time. I have never really
shared about this before. Most don’t know this story or how severe the
situation was. We each have a story. God has given us a life story. It is only
when we share our stories, when we have the opportunities to share our stories
that others may truly know who we are. And maybe, just maybe God will use our
story to help someone else grow closer to HIM.
As you finish out this first day of 2014 I
will be celebrating the life of my first son and the life of my wife and
wonderful four other children. My prayer for you is that you will see the
precious gift of life God has given you each and every day. I pray that you
will seek the stories of others. That you will look for opportunities to share
your own stories. It is only when we read and study God’s story that we learn
how great this life truly is!
May 2014 be a year where your story grows but
also a year where you share your story more than ever before. Start the year
out well- ask someone about their story.
Blessings!
Skipper- proud father of a 12 year old, four other children and the
precious gift my beautiful wife Tricia!
Happy New Year!
